Thursday, 27 March 2014


I was enjoying the evening on the cliffs. I want to be in this place. I know it is bucolic and somewhat provincial; also, it is cosy and friendly.

Because my work, I am wandering the world, you know, but even in the best places, the big cities or the best scenery, I always remember the easiness, the peace, and the splendour of Cornwall cliffs.

While I walked the stony ground of the little trail, I was thinking about a new essay I was asked to write about “Fantastical Creatures”.

 I was having a quickly review of some of them in my mind while I tried to imagine a way to describe them and be entertaining at the same time when, out of the blue, came the well known voice of my midget and punisher:

-I see you are having delusions again, my pet!

My pet, he said! What is running into the sprite self to call me my pet? If anything, I am pet of nobody!

-Oh, yes! There you are my petty mauler! –I retaliate viciously; -I will thank you not to call me “pet”, privately or publicly. By the way, what do you mean by delusions?

OK, - his voice was sparkling with sarcasm, -my grown up, and smart-alecky friend! -I will stop showing my affection for you, privately or publicly! By delusions, I meant your biased thought about what a fantastical creature is, and what it is not!

-Will you stop having this two ways conversation, please! Just explain what you mean by biased thought. -I was fed up of having my brain divided into two arguments at the same time.

-You started it, -retorted the fairy, and went on:

-That is an easy task, my… err, sorry! -It was evident he was pulling my leg, but I let it go, I wanted some help from my critical busybody about my Fantastical Creature essay.

-Let’s see, -he put a very serious face as if thinking deeply, I felt the need to kick his inner ear.

-You were thinking about fantastical Monoceros, I saw the image in your mind, but if there is no mythical creature, it is a Monoceros! -He finished the sentence and looked at me slantwise, and I knew he was waiting for my reaction. I didn’t let him wait too much!

-Monocero? -I almost bit the word! -What, in your impudent world, is a Monocero.

He looked pleased by my reaction. -Monoceros, my little ignoramus… Monoceros, with a beautiful sibilant, and curved “s” at the end! It is a Greek word, you know, and they liked all those curved things as you can see in their sculptures.

-Stop lecturing me about Greeks, -I hate when he digress only to show me how much I do not know.

-OK! -he seemed satisfied teasing me, but clearly I was wrong!

-Monoceros is the Greek word for our “Unicorn”, you see, mono (one); ceros (horn), as in rhinoceros or horn on the nose. You understand? -He could not be more offensive!

-Elf, -I spoke slowly, you are very near to cross the narrow line of being assassinated!
-I used this word, instead of ‘killed’, just to show him I knew words with Latin roots.

-He seemed to take this seriously, -OK, you’re right! Anyway, the Unicorn is not a fantastical creature; it only is a somewhat carefree being, which, by lacking of understanding, happened to be tardy to its appointment.

-It was tardy to its appointment? -Now it was my turn to draw on irony. -And what has that to do with being a fantastical creature or not?

-There we go! -The gnome enjoyed these lectures having me as audience and sufferer!

-Many, many eons ago, when it was time to leave the birthplace by human beings, a lot of animals and plants had to follow suit and leave the place as well. -I never cease to be admired by the change that overcame Elf when he thinks he is teaching something that will make me a better person.

-Then, Elf was recounting with a dreamily looks on his countenance, -we, fairies, were directed to change the name of the Garden to Galwrst and let men, women and their lot to go living to the East side where things were a little bit harsh than what they used to be.

Ah! -I do like to interrupt the dwarf when he becomes academic. Therefore, it was then that they, Unicorns, were late to join the caravan! Right?

-Wrong! -He smiled while saying this. He does like to contradict me!

-Both Monoceros -he went on satisfied to having fended off my attack, -were very pure and pleasant creatures, but as I told you above, they were, and are, wild and carefree. So much so, only virgins can tame them. Vestal human females, those of the kind you cannot find in Galwrst anymore.

I could not let this pass by. -Oh! -I said feigning surprise. -You have not virgin vestals at Galwrst anymore! What happened? There was some kind of bacchanal in the last century?

He didn’t even smile. -Being a wise-cracker does not suit you, my little pet! I was referring to human female vestals -Evidently the joke was not to his like.

I put a rueful expression on my face, so Elf went on:

-I was telling you the way Monoceros are, carefree and wild, so passed some eons and everything seemed “on going”, even if humankind were not very well, but that is another story.

One day, -Elf was using his remembering face again, -The Monoceros couple disappeared from Galwrst, and Titania our Queen, sent a fées patrol to look for them.

They found Monoceros and his partner capering into the Petrified Forest. When asked what were they doing, Monoceros stated they were bored and decided to go out to see the new world, but it has been raining for a long time and they took refuge into the Forest.

They knew it was a minor mischief, so when the summons to go into the Ark came, they hid into the inner Forest to avoid being punished.

So you see, -Elf opened his hands as if showing a picture. -Since they were not aboard the Ark, they did not enter the “real” world and stayed in Fantasy World, as so many other species.

I was dumbfounded! Can you believe such a story? Elf always finds a way to surprise me, his explanations about how things happened, and why, are forever astonishing.

The best is, now I have a good tale to develop about Fantastical Creatures. I must recognise that in this case Elf’s help is invaluable.

The music is Bushwick Tarantella, a rhythm to the text.
"Bushwick Tarantella" Kevin MacLeod ( under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

© 2014 Od Liam.