Monday, 23 June 2014

Wet newspapers, or the genesis of it all


After several years of writing and displaying many stories and tales under my rights of ownership, and under the martial compulsion of my energetic sprite I am bound to expose some facts to keep my self in the clear. All this essay was compiled, revised, edited and approved by Elf himself. That fact liberate me from any critical opinion from those who disagree with the supposed fact stated here.

To my traditional readers will be a clear fact that neither the rhetoric nor the style of the writing is mine whatsoever. So, please, be advised that this text may be somewhat pedantic, coming from the quarter it comes: Elf.

You are warned. Any reading past this line is your entire responsibility. 


When it rains the stories get wet, and then the sentences of one side are mixed with the sentences on the other side of the matter that support the text. The best instance is a wet newspaper page.

Even if it may seem creepy, this situation is not, like most things, without its good side. In some cases untold playful stories are found in these entertaining thoughts splashed everywhere, in other opportunities impossible concepts are reflected that cannot exists in the ordered universe of Literature.

And sometimes, I rest in the hope that, somehow, there remains asserted the veracity of that ideal inconsistency which raises the possibility that if we let a monkey or a primate with a keyboard, it may, in the course of time, create sonnets as valuable as those of the Immortal Bard.

I must admit that nothing like this last observation have occurred to me yet (adverb, which seems to display the subtle hope that it really can happen, but the odds are pretty meagre, given my total lack of knowledge about "sonnetic" structure, but I base my confidence, perhaps, in my sharing of this unawareness with the monkey), and if it occurs I would be the first to cry "plagiarism".

Hardly feeling my face blush, I speak of "my" stories as if I could claim any rights over them. Of course, in any human court there would not exist the slightest doubt of such property rights, but if we let the facts speak for themselves, many of the stories told by me are the product of conscious or unconscious germination of my most beautiful nature, and at the same time my heaviest misfortune, which was given to me by the Fates: Elf.

I have come to expect, more like a justification than an actual belief, that several of the topics that do not relate in any way to Elf are my creation, but I've had tangential evidence that many of the "suggested" ideas in my mind can not be entirely attributed to a dubious thought process of mine needed to give life to an interesting text.

In short, since I first entered my mind with the malicious intent to start the engine that makes it work, I found a pair of pointed ears that locked as in brackets, the most curious entity, in the sense of strange being, with amazing ideas that I can not, in all honesty pretend they are my property. Although, if I keep the same honesty, I must say that it is so long that Elf "pollute" my ideas, that I do not know what thought comes from whom.

In the early days, believing that there was some imbalance in the dovetail joint of my neurons, and following the advice of several people I trusted, I consulted a therapist who immediately diagnosed, in full against the activities of, and disagreeing totally with, Elf, the development of a mental disorder from a mismatch, or alteration of cognitive and affective processes of development and could be considered abnormal when compared the subject (that is, my humble self) to the social reference group where the individual was coming from, given the inability of the patient (again my humble self, even if it seems too egocentric) to recognize reality, or adapt to normal life.

The comment of Elf after reading the doctor's diagnosis was: Bah!!

This way to react of my elf told me that somewhere there must be some mistake. I based this argument on the recognized logorrhea that ails Elf, and the lack of emphasis to despise the work of a professional. It must be something so self-evident that exempted the imp from incisive arguments so cherished by him.

The next step was, after paying the professional fee, in contrast with Elf's opinion since he considered it a flagrant offence, but accepting Elf's suggestion, to change the power of the lamp that lit the small file that I have as mind. As soon as I did that, my present changed radically, as the file looked bigger and better lit, I began to find small groups of words that suggest a story, or let me end with a juicy discussion with the dwarf.

Needless to say I did that change of light power a custom, with the outcome of finding more and more stuff to clutter the simple and free life of people by meddling in it. Largely using unhealthy and very complicated stories full of unwelcome situations that forced the defenceless and innocent reader to wring their axons in an attempt to follow the reasoning proposed by these improbable yarns.

For the same reason stated above, unable to maintain the pressure that these stories or injunctions, which were generated in my daily life, put on my psyche, I began to write them to download the psychological pressure. In this way began the adventure of my daily education, as I was informed by Elf in his first oratory exchange with me, that is, improve and make a good person with the unpromising material that was entrusted to him, otherwise said: me, myself, I, yours truly. Not my intention to make important these pronouns, but seems to be something ready to emerge in the passage of this issue intermittently.

After years spent in selected interaction with the hopelessly embedded mental intruder, the consequence is a sly symbiosis that has only served to arouse greater doubts about the rationale behind the idea of the mediation of this strange being in my internal affairs, but there is no way to support the version that there is the slightest doubt about its real existence, nor that its appearance was due to "the development of a mental disorder from a mismatch, or alteration of cognitive and affective processes of development, etc. etc.", or either that the interaction with my own resources were not true, due to the astonishing and disturbing fact of his ability to effectively parody my whole self.

Faced with this situation that lessened my personality I decided openly confront the goblin with questions that make clear the reason for his ignominious task.

Given the complexity of such a task the result obtained in this work must necessarily be the subject of another essay, which convert all this gibberish in a pompous preface.

I have tried to preserve the logical meaning of the work presented here in an attempt not to give life to an unrepentant rigmarole, and although in a second reading I guess I found the goal achieved, I can not be sure, given the inevitable intervention of our known, intrusive visitor and permanent resident in my being.

I beg you to preserve your place as readers to join me in the journey that awaits me in front of the Cyclops, Scyllas and Caribdys that I would find, but do not hesitate to tell to whoever might be interested what will be going on in the future because I want to be completely honest and give you all, my dear readers, the opportunity to flee in a stampede of other tirade like this, as long as you have persevered reading and got here, which would surprised me very much since I left this reading for the last several paragraphs behind this one.

Having arrived on autopilot at this point and in total ignorance of how to make an effective close down of this ranting, I opt for an inelegant, but effective ending.

I remain as the servant of all ... etc, etc..

The music is a fragment of "Symphony No. 25 in G minor" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

© 2014 Od Liam.

Wednesday, 18 June 2014


I met this lady from Asword,
Who never misused a word,
If she wanted to say 'I hate you',
She never use more than that few,
Then cut you down with her sword.

The music is a fragment of "Mourir d'aimer" by Charles Aznavour.

© 2014 Od Liam.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Activities at sylvan dawn

At early morning, and because it was snuggled on top of a tall red maple tree, the sun touched slightly Mr. Swallow Sr.'s nest.

This slight touch was enough to wake up his offspring, and they, as all little birds often do, immediately started to ask for their breakfast.

Mr. Swallow Sr. shook his slumbering state vigorously jumping and jolting around, and then flew away to look for the per diem food for his nestlings as it was his duty.

All this activity produced enough moment as to let a dew bead fall down from a nearby leaf. This little offer from above went down into the still shadowy part of the forest, it got into a goblet like flower that could not stand the élan brought by the dew bead and turned upside down letting the small cold lozenge keep its falling until it went flat on a big fern, and started to slide toward the pointed end of a leaf, following its midrib.

Coming down from the fern, the dew bead fell squarely on the head of Ruck, the little white imp, who was still asleep since the light from the sun was feeble yet.

Clearly stunned, the fairy tried to go back to sleep, but it was not possible, her leaf-bed was a mess, damp, and cold.

She shake her head, still blank, since the only thing that would have occurred to her was swearing, but we all know that well-behaved sprites do not use foul language. 

After some instant, Ruck felt her notions herding back in a stampede that almost make them fall down her ears.

She sat on her heels disconcerted for a while, letting reason heap thoughts in order. Finally she found the tail of her ideas and could start to think rationally again...

What happened?

She looked at her poor self, dripping water as a defective faucet.

Maybe she was loosing the control of her body? But she was only four hundred years old, at the peak of her life, not old enough yet! Besides, she is a fairy, and fairies do not age!

Is it rain?

Then she looked up and saw the remaining of water still clinging stubbornly from the fern leaf. Understanding rushed in, and her mind cleared everything in a second.

Not rain, it was a glorious sunny day, some rays from the sun already reached into the lower layers of the forest.

Then what?

Dew! it was a dew bead! What extraordinary coincidence!

A timid sun ray touched the leaf where Ruck was, and let her dry her wings. After thanking the ray for its service, Ruck started to fly toward the Wotdras House where the meeting to assign the daily chores would be held.

The music is "Celtic Elf's Music - Sylvan Elves" by Derek Fiechter.

© 2014 Od Liam.

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Sad Party

To the birthday party of a mate,
I was arriving very late,
They had eaten all the dips,
I only tasted them with my fingertips,
And there was not a drop of chocolate.

The music is a fragment of "La Campanella" (The Little Bell) by Franz Liszt performed by Arthur Rubinstein.

© 2014 Od Liam.

Monday, 9 June 2014


I was sitting in the bay window, letting my eyes and mind roam over the cliffs.

The high clouds of a slightly overcast sky let the slanting rays of the sun come over from the horizon while the day announced in this way the slow decanting of the last minutes of its existence.

It was so quiet that the soft lullaby of the ocean waves on the rocky bottom of the cove reached my ears as a deadened sigh.

Peace reached into my soul and I was carried away by the subdued feelings of angelical fingers caressing my self...

It was too good to be true, and long lasting.

A sound of fast footsteps came from the inner hall of my mind and Elf appeared, short of breath, and spat several sentences as if they were just one letter long.

"-Quick, quick, arrange your face as if you haven't seen me, and if somebody asks for my person just say you don't see me since noon!" 

"-Are you telling me to lie on your account, little one?"  -I asked with sarcasm, irked by his interruption.

"-Oh stop the pretense, what can a little fib do to a human being in the vast sea of lies they are used to swim daily!" 

"-Now you are calling me a liar, adding injury to the insult!"  -I didn't know why, but I was not angry. Moreover, I was amused seeing the desperation in his countenance.

"-Please! Please! there is no time to argue! Just help me! It is important"  -With this he vanished into the shadows of the dimly lit Archive.

I was startled by this rapid exit. I didn't believe it was serious, only I guessed Elf was representing another of his usual pranks.

I was still trying to recover when a new set of step sounds were coming from the hall. This time they were faltering, heavy steps, as if the coming being was not sure of his, or her ground. Besides, this time the feet seemed heavy with spike heeled shoes.

A few seconds later there appears in front of my stunned eyes a little dainty figure with flaming red hair and emerald eyes full of a promising mist!

"-Elkad!"  -I said, or thought. I am not sure what I was doing.

Do you remember the Lady Elf who looked at me some time ago and surrounded my "I" with a comfortable green mist Elf called "Shreenury", or something? I wrote about this in my post "Second visit", in case you do not remember the event.

"-Oh, that's you!"  -She, I was not sure she was a female, or if Elf was a male, for that matter, but as soon as she saw me, she took a very feminine pose, and the aspirated way to pronounce vowels was so attractive, she was really cute! I didn't know why she tried so hard to be so charming, I made a mental note to ask Elf about that. 

"-I thought I was on known ground, but could not recall who was the owner!"

She sounded as an out of breath bimbo. Made me remember Marilyn singing "My heart belongs to Daddy". Now, wait, I am not saying Marilyn was a bimbo, far from it, she was a great woman, only saying Elkad sounded the way Marilyn singing that song. Remember?

"-Where is he?". -She asked absently, looking around without any interest, it was as if I were not there, or if I were a mere answering machine. She was ignoring me deliberately, and that stung my Ego!

I put a similar absent face, and said, looking around as if I didn't know my whereabouts:


"-Gee! Stop aping my strategies! Tell me where is your so called Elf. It is funny to name somebody by their nature instead of using a normal name! He IS an Elf, you cannot christen him with that name!"

I was stopped short! She was right, and talked as if she had read my mind!

Well, of course she read my mind! She was inside it! I realized I had no chance to mislead her.

"-Now, stop fooling around, and tell me where is the scoundrel!"

I was amazed and disappointed, I had a nice and sweet memory of this lass, full of green and soft feelings.

Now, she was shredding all that with her way to speak! I can barely believe my ears, and wouldn't have believed if I had no been there to hear it.

Elves are strange creatures, to say the least, I felt I was in front of my own Elf and having our normal nasty bickering.

"-So...?", she was pushing ahead, "-Have the mice eaten your tongue?"

Ah, good heaven!! "Have the mice eaten your tongue?", can you think such a silly sentence? Well, I decided to give it a final push.

"-Look!", I was already making fist with my mind-hands, and thinking in her neck, but not to kiss it!

"-Look, Elf is not here, and I do not know where is he! Why you need him in such a hurry? Wait and he will appear in his own good time.

She seemed to sense my anger. At least, she proved to be better than Elf, who never cared about my frame of mind.

"-OK, OK", she said with a big smile in an effort to disarm my rage. "-Just tell me where is he?"

"-I do not know", I repeated, "-he was here some time ago trying to make himself scarce.  Do you know why? You know, he is very sociable, and it was very strange to see him trying to hide himself!"

"-I will tell you why, but promise you will help me to convince him to comply with his duty!" -She was entreating.

"-OK, but only if it is not against his interest."

"-I promise you it is perfectly right!"

"-Well, tell me." -I was truly curious.

"-When time is ready in Galwrst, the Goqhgwun tree presents its flowers in full bloom", Elkad started her tale with a reminiscent look.

"-What are you talking about?, what has these flowers to do with all this conundrum?" -I was too much used to argue with Elf so I could not stop myself from interrupting her.

Elkad raised her emerald eyes towards me and while a velvety mist covered my mind, she said softly:

"-If you love you mind, sqklrty, it is better for you to keep your trap closed!"

Later, I learned that «sqklrty» means «my preferred pet» or something to that effect. At the moment I was barely shocked by her crude remonstration and swiftly losing myself in a wonderful mixture of heavenly feelings.

In that precise moment a pail of cold water fell on my body and I was harshly taken out from the velvety mist. I awake trying to catch my breath and afraid of being totally drenched, but to my surprise my clothes were dry and I felt badly cold.

That's when I heard Elf's enraged voice saying:

"-Stop that, Elkad! Stop that this minute! You will be at odds with the Queen if you hurt this human!!"

"-Ah! Here you are!", Elkad's voice was triumphant. "-I knew you would try to save the apple of your eye, sqklrty, and if there is somebody who would be at odds with the Queen shortly, it is your darned self!" 

"-You are a kwhgjil, Elkad!!

Elf sounded resigned to give up his hiding. Afterward I learned that «kwhgjil» means a scumbag. I was surprised to hear Elf use this kind of language. He is always a very composed being.

"-Yes, sqklrty, that I am!" Elkad was unruffled by the insult.

"-And you must come back to Galwrst with me right now, there is no time, we must prepare the next Drwost, my superstitious friend!"

Elf looked subdued and ashamed.

He addressed to me looking to the ground:

"-I'll explain all this, soon. Now I must go!"

"-Yes!". -Elkad said, "-why don't you tell him you are a triskaidekaphobic creature, sqklrty!?"

"-Shut up, you... you..." -Elf seemed lost in his confusion.

"-Let's go", I will explain all this to you later!" -He said it fiercely and ran towards the Archive.

Elkad smiled her sweet smile and blowing a kiss in my direction, turned on her heels and followed Elf.

To say I was stupefied is an euphemism.

Did Elkad really tried to hurt me? Or was it all a ruse to make Elf leave his hiding place. Did Elf come to save me even if he exposed himself doing that. Am I that important to him he prefer to risk his, I do not know what he was risking, instead of letting Elkad do, whatever she was going to do?

I clearly remembered a pail of water fall on me, but I am not wet... How come?

What called her Elf? a triska...whatever, creature? what in the name of all Fairies is that?

Elf seemed shamed by this accusation!

Well, I could not answer any of all these questions, so I decided to go back and sit in the bay windows and wait for Elf...

Then again, he said he would explain, but if he do not come back! This thought scared me no end. I do not want to lose my Elf!

He said he would be back... No, he didn't say that, he said he would explain everything... Well, to explain he must come back... or not, he can send a note!

"-OK, OK, shut up", -I addressed my anxiety. -Just sit in the bay window, look at the cliffs and wait. Have faith! Elf won't leave you forever, you'll see.


The song was a sweet lullaby, I was swinging slowly in its melody. I walked sleepingly into my mind and could see an open window facing the most beautiful place ever thought of, trees singing a song I could "listen" with my eyes, and I could taste a mixture of colors from some flowers sending their overpowering flavor into the soft breeze.

Then a solid shape was coming into my mind from the window, and making a small sign with the hand closed the gorgeous image leaving the dark wall of my mind in its place while the solid shape resolved in the figure of Elf.

"-Hey!", -I said waking suddenly, "-hey! dont close that window, please!"

Elf turned surprised, and spluttered: "-Wha... what are you doing here!"

"-I live here", -I answered somewhat foolishly, and added even more foolishly: "-This is my mind". "Can you open the window again?"

"-Oh, by sheer goodness, did you see me coming throught the portal?"

"-Yes!, -I am eager to see that landscape again!" -I sounded as a little child asking for candies.

"-My, my, my!" -Elf was really distressed. He looked painfully at me, and taking my hand made me sit on a noun while he seated on an adjective, and using his eyes as anchor for mine said in such a serious voice that I felt concerned by his suffering.

"-My friend", -he sounded in pain and scared. "-This is a serious matter, so please, please I beg you to leave that childish position, and take what I am going to tell you very seriously because my head depends on your attitude.

"-I was very careless letting you to peep out into Galwrst; if the Fklutny learns I committed such a mistake, my life values nothing, I will be exiled into Bkwpqo at the care of the Mkdwpls, and nothing will be known of my being, even in Eternity."

"-What?" I cried, upsetting him, but I could not understand half of the words he had said.

Despite his worries, he realized he was making a mix of languages and repeated, this time clearly:

"-I was very careless letting you to peep out into, eh, eh Fairyland (Galwrst) [remember he hate this word hence his hesitation], if the Discipline Agency (Fklutny) learns I committed such a mistake, my life values nothing, I will be exiled into the White Kingdom (Bkwpqo) at the care of the White Witch (Mkdwpls), and nothing will be known of my being, even  in Eternity. So, please, please, I entreat you to forget about this and think you were dreaming while you could see into ah, ah Fairyland!"

He was so serious, so intense, I could not think he was playing one of his prank again. I promise to make my major effort to follow his cues.

He smiled sadly, and told me:

"-You major effort is not enough, you must be completely convinced, or you will betray my mistake, mon ami!"

"-OK, OK, I'll do it for our friendship and for you!" -I told him being very sincere, and never metioned (or thought about) this until the law of prescription let Elf out of the hook.

He was very grateful, and said:

"-Well, I will explain now that scenes you saw between Elkad and me a few time ago."

"-I want to apologize for her manners", -Elf started with a shy smile, "-She is not usually like that, but she was angry at me and could not hide it"

"-You surely remember", -he went on "-she was telling you that when time is ready in Galwrst, the Goqhgwun tree presents its flowers in full bloom. That's the time when we celebrate the Gwitnd Drwosten or Flowers Feast which starts the flowers recollection season. If you have good memory you'll remember we use those flowers called krwmton to creates Elves, and they are males or females depending on the mead we mix them with. Strong mead delivers males Elves, and of course, Soft mead produce female Elves."

"-This was the 13th Feast, it does not happen often", -Elf seemed somewhat shamed, "-and all fairies decided that I should be the emcee or master of ceremonies to lead the procedure. I didn't want to be this time emcee...eeh... I do not like the number 13. Oh, I know it is a nonsense but sometimes I cannot help myself.

"-Trying to avoid the job", -it was evident that Elf had to make an effort to go on, "-I decided to hide myself until they could choose another person. What I didn't know was that when Titania, our Queen, knew I was selected by my pairs, She make public a writ appointing me to the emcee work. She is a very thorough Queen and likes to make everything officially decreed!"

"-Oh, well", -I said trying to make him comfortable. "-You could not know this fact, so you are not guilty"

"-Wait", -he said sadly, -"it is not that easy. When nobody could find me, they got scared and nobody dared to inform, neither King Oberon, nor the Queen, I was missing. So, everything was arranged as if I were present, my posters, and my speech were prepared, as the date became nearer they all felt I was guilty, and for a stupid reason, of the bad things that could happen to them for not complying a Queen's writ!" 

"-That was not true!" -I could not stop myself, -they were guilty of anything that could fall on them. They should have told the King and the Queen you were missing!

"-No!", -he said soberly. -"It is very difficult to own our mistakes, I know!"

"-Meanwhile, I felt safe here in the Archive of your mind". He looked ashamed again. "-I was incredibly selfish, and I had to apologize to everyone of my brothers and sisters individually. What I didn't take on account was that our redhead females Elves are extremely smart."

"-Elkad was worried, as everyone else", -now he seemed a little more at ease, he even had a shadow of a smile, "-she remembered I had told her once that I hated the number 13, also, she remember her visit to your mind some time ago, remember?"

I nodded. 

"-She added two and two", he showed me four fingers, "and starts to look the way to your thoughts. She didn't remember clearly the path but as I told you, she is very smart, and finally she did arrive to you following my vibes."

"-As soon as she enter your mind she knew I was there somewhere, making a fool of myself, so she got angry and started to being rude herself. When we were back, she even apologized to me for being such a rogue, calling me a triskaidekaphobic creature. I had to recognize that I am rightly defined by that horrible word."

"-Can you tell me what does it mean?" -I asked curiously.

"-Oh yes", Elf seemed amused by this, "It isn't anything as wrong as it sounds. All that are Greeks words meaning: tris = three; kai = and; deka = ten; phobic = afraid of. So it means: a creature afraid of number 13, which as I told you above, I am!"

"-Once I was doing my work, I defeated my misgivings, and everything came out very well. Then I apologized to everybody, and endure the jokes and pranks of my pairs about being such a stupid fellow. finally I was forgiven and everything went on as usual".

"-After a while I decided to come back to you to explain all these things that may have been strange and difficult to put in perspective for you."

"-You can say that", -I said keenly. "-There are some other items I did not understand at the moment, not now, either"

"-Yes, tell me". To my joy, Elf was slowly becoming his old self again.

"-First: I am sure I received a shower of cold water when you appeared, but I was not even wet, and I could felt the cold embrace me for some time after the shower! How come?"

"-Oh, that" Elf was abashed again. "It was when Elkad was 'shrewt' at you, I was afraid she could hurt you badly, she said to you "If you love your mind" and I thought, (now I am ashamed of having thought Elkad could do it, she is to much of a Lady to do so, I was wrong and asked her to forgive me, which she gallantly did). In that moment, I was scared, so I sent over to you a wave of 'reality' that you felt as a shower of cold water. That broke the spell, but left you cold!"

"-Oh, yes!", I said, "I remember you did it once when the Ladies were visiting me.

"-Now I also remember", -I added. -I was meant to ask you why Elkad is always trying to be so charming when she is here?" -I asked, erasing the mental note I had made.

"-Well, I do not know, but I guess she cannot help herself, being a Lady!" -Elf sounded as if telling a great truth, but he could not keep a small mischievous tilt out of his voice. 

"Now, can you tell me why you did that to save me, since I am just a human being, not important to fairies, as you told me several times in the past?"

"-Well", Elf looked embarrassed, "well, it is not so, now after a while. I got used to you and your ways so... so... I... I... well, I like you, you know!"

I do not know why, but I felt a warm feeling in my heart, so I said:

"-Yes!, I like you, too, Elf. I am so used to your presence that I was terribly afraid you would not come back again!"

"-Oh , no! I will always be with you, even in Eternity." -Elf sounded really earnest!

So, we ended this adventure, for the first time in history, with a big hug!

The music is "Waltz No 1" from the Suite "Dance of the Fairies" by Zero Project.

© 2014 Od Liam.