Am I a nerd?!

Elf, who else?

–You are a nerd!

Elf was busy editing some of my old thoughts into smarter ideas when he turned around and spat these word to my astonished self.

-What?, I replied as I usually did, without originality.

-You heard me!, he continue without mercy.

I felt the usual desire to squeeze his little neck, but controlled myself and asked him:

-Why do you think I am a nerd?

He let drop a small shred of a thought and replied:

-No, I do not think you are a nerd, you are one without my thinking!

-Ok, why? I tried to stop a new line of discussion which would have lost ourselves in a different argument.

- You see, he came again, you like old fashioned music, reading... reading!, of all the dull, boring things on the world, and writing things nobody cares about any more as that mumbo jumbo about love and romanticism! Where on earth can you find a romantic person nowadays? And you are out of character trying to impersonate one.

-Are you trying to insult me?, I asked a bit unnecessary.

-Oh! no, I am not trying to insult you, said the curmudgeon, I am insulting you out of smugness.

-Smugne..., now the desire to throat him was unbearable, the effort to keep mi mindfingers in my mindpockets left me mindless for a moment, then recovering I said between tight closed teeth:

- Will you elaborate, please?

- You see, he countered, what's that of "will you elaborate?", he moved his head from left to right producing an acceptable imitation of my mindvoice, can't you be a normal person and say something in the line of "How is that?"... and all that Opera thing... Whoever listen those bellowing fat ladies saying things nobody understands?

- Now look, I said in a very low voice, I was very near the edge to loose myself into a maze of gruesome acts concerning the head and body of this kinky small creature.

-Now, look, there are words in the world and they are there to be used, it is our business to know them and to make our vocabulary a better thing than the mere two hundred voices, and one thousand insulting epithets we usually employ... and there are no fat ladies bellowing anywhere, you small piece of a smaller than life shirt!!!
I was already shouting and my mindhands were mindfists, so after the last word I realized I was almost over the edge of using words I respect but prefer not to keep company with, so I closed my mindeyes and started singing "one elephant went out to play, upon a spider's web one day..." to calm myself, when I was on the seventh elephant I realized it was not working, so I changed gears and started with "Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, dormez vous? dormez vouz?" The effort to think French words made anger subside, inhaling deeply I finished in a more civilized voice:

-There are beautiful women like Dames Kiri te Kanawa and Joan Sutherland who delight us with their performance and wonderful voices making the words of the lyrics become an indistinct fluttering of butterflies in a "coloratura", you hear me?! I ended, ruining the
image I created with these three pedestrian last words.

He raised his head and looking the tip of his nose replied:

Oh, well! you are a lost case, and with that he returned to nitpicking my thoughts!



Just to make my point I asked myself to start in my CD player "Spira sul mare.." the sweet song where Cio-Cio-San, Madama Butterfly, sings her happiness to be engaged to Pinkerton and where a beautiful Renata Scotto shows her skill and the wonderful caress of her voice.

And everything was well again, swinging with the loving voice of "... la fanciulla più lieta del Giappone... venutta al richiamo d'amore" (the happiest lass in Japan... who came to the call of love) I returned to my usually placid mind.



Fragment of "Spira sul mare" from Puccini's "Madama Butterfly" by Renata Scotto.



© 2009 Od Liam.