Monday, 4 March 2013

Once upon a time...

Elf, of course
I was trying to make up my mind between a toast or another brownie at breakfast when I notice this lump of ideas on the floor of my mind. 

It was Elf doing, of course. I never spread ideas on the floor of my mind. Always try to keep them in order and filed.

When I approached the mess, I could see his little head sprouting from the middle of the heap.

What are you doing? I asked bewildered as I always am when faced to my Elf's deeds.

Once upon a time... he said venomously.

What!? I was not too original in the question but it took me by surprise. 

Where do these words come from?: "Once upon a time". Does it never happens once upon NOW? Why is it? - Do you know? he blurted all these sentences together as if they were just one.

My Elf was in one of his tantrums against... nothing! 

I tried to ignore his taunting, but as always I couldn't, putting his mind-nose against mine he asked again, remarking his words:

Do YOU know!? 

No, I don't, I said and kept looking for a good idea about the toast or the brownie (no pun intended, besides he is no brownie) even knowing it won't deter this mini-devil to pursue once he started a skirmish. 

Well then, he said putting his mind-arms akimbo, what do you think of it? Where do you think it originated? 

Oh, goodness I thought, "originated..." but trying to keep a low profile I answered: 

Don't know! 

Don't know, don't know, he aped me as usual. Can't you show a little less idiocy and give an educated answer? What do you have all this brain for? eh?! eh!? 

I gave up, it is impossible to ignore a thorn in your eye! 

Look, I said, these words were used in tales for children, as in nursery rhymes and fairy tales from Mother Goose's! 

Bah, Mother Goose was just a Gander! (sic), meaning nonsense, I guess, even if I do not know what slang he was using.

Not a Gander, maybe his hubby was a gander! I tried to jump over the pun but... 

Who you mean?!! (he forgets grammar when in anger), I never heard of Father Gander! 

I had to reckon he was right, 'neither I has ever heard of Father Gander', I could not explain him the crusade of Doug Larche trying to make nursery rhymes to be an Equal Rights Rhymes for both sexes. Father Gander Nursery Rhymes was a book way out of the scope of Elf's current subject.

Ok, ok, I granted, just let's forget all about this. Yes? 

Forget? forget?, it is people like you that forgetting everything are guilty of the major evils in the world!  Elf was furious!

I was stunned, major evils?

But what are you talking about?, Himmeldonnerwetter! - when I start to get angry my German cassette pushes out some of those neverending words - major evils?! we were talking about Mother Goose here, not major evils! 

You were talking about Mother Goose, I am not. I am concerned with all that things that happened once upon a time and not now! He countered!

Gosh! I said, where is my mind-hammer!! 

Elf put his best scornful face and giving me the cold shoulder lost himself into the archive. 

I knew he was fleeing and scared enough about my mind-hammer, he does not know what it is (neither I do) anyway it sound impressive enough to make him run away, but he always makes his departures look like he has defeated me! 

Himmeldonnerwetter, again!!

The music is a large fragment of "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini" by Sergei Rachmaninov, performed by Stephen Hough.

© 2013 Od Liam.


  1. hmm interesting thought..I never seem to be around to see anything exciting happening..its always once up on a time...

    btw, what's Himmeldonnerwetter?

    1. You are right! but do not lose hope! Maybe you can find a once upon now, any time now! Elf can be very awkward in his thinking sometimes! :) You'll find out, I am sure!! :)

      Himmel = heaven or sky
      Donner = Thunder
      Wetter= Weather


      Himmeldonnerwetter noch (ein)mal! = Darn it all and blast it! or worse!!

      But in German is more melodious!! ;)))

  2. I think the words ' Once upon a time' attract the children more than any other sentence, hence it is often used in the stories for children and rhymes.
    Interesting post OD;)

    1. There you are! But Elf is not satisfied by that, he wants to know why tales occurred upon a time, and not upon now!

      Who can understand a sprite's mind?!

      Thank you, Auntie!

  3. This must be a coincidence. Was thinking of Elf and here he is NOW! It's been awhile, so I missed him. Yesterday, I dropped by and "witnessed the incident" on how he wanted to leave you and visit his relatives. He must be irritated. I didn't want to interfere in the argument, so I left quietly. I think it's not easy to let him go. :)

    Himmeldonnerwetter....awww! That mind-hammer of yours is a powerful tool effective enough to scare him. Without him, it would be so quiet, but when he's around, he could make a mess of anything and everything.

    This time he wants an educated answer. "Once upon a time" was the phrase I read, when I was a child, in most of the stories. It never crossed my mind then where its origin was and I never questioned when was the time in once upon a time. :)

    I don't know whether I'm on Elf's side or not. Now, I'm thinking of the question he asked. Hehehe

    You make my brain reeling! :)

    C'mon Elf, get out of your hiding place! :))

    P.S. Pssst...the bee loves this post.

  4. I am sorry to tell you I lost many tales of the deeds of this ill-fated imp, I still remember some of them and I write them back from memory. They may be not as good as the first time (never second parts were good), but at least, they are not sunk in oblivion.

    I got the idea of the mind-hammer from Thor, Odin's son in Norse Mythology, that is why Elf take it seriously, never forget he IS a fairy, so he believe all things fairy!! :)

    We human never question idioms, or made up sentences, but never forget Elf is coming from a different trait!

    If you start to follow Elf's reasoning you'll end topsy-turvy. Just forget him!

    Humm, he is surely under an adjective, they are his favourite, or under a long adverb if he is scared enough. You must wait he gather courage and he will be back with a vengeance! :)

    P.S. Thank you BB, you are my third leg!!! ;)))))

  5. I love the stories about Elf, he always gets me thinking! :)

    Himmeldonnerwetter... I like that!
    I think I have never used that term, the only person I remember ever having said it is my grandma. :)

    P.S. I am sorry I have been absent for so long! There have been so many things to deal with that I could not think too much about blogging.

    1. Hi K! Welcome back!!

      This is the reason I am jealous of him, and the worst is: he knows it!! :))

      Of course you do not use Himmeldonnerwetter and your Grandma yes! It is a very old word, it must have been left being used many years ago. I hear about it in some of the Literature courses I had, and I liked and remember it quite often!

      You must not apologize for doing your duty! We will be always waiting for you!

      Thank you for your comment!