|Elf, of course|
It was Elf doing, of course. I never spread ideas on the floor of my mind. Always try to keep them in order and filed.
When I approached the mess, I could see his little head sprouting from the middle of the heap.
What are you doing? I asked bewildered as I always am when faced to my Elf's deeds.
Once upon a time... he said venomously.
What!? I was not too original in the question but it took me by surprise.
Where do these words come from?: "Once upon a time". Does it never happens once upon NOW? Why is it? - Do you know? he blurted all these sentences together as if they were just one.
My Elf was in one of his tantrums against... nothing!
I tried to ignore his taunting, but as always I couldn't, putting his mind-nose against mine he asked again, remarking his words:
Do YOU know!?
No, I don't, I said and kept looking for a good idea about the toast or the brownie (no pun intended, besides he is no brownie) even knowing it won't deter this mini-devil to pursue once he started a skirmish.
Well then, he said putting his mind-arms akimbo, what do you think of it? Where do you think it originated?
Oh, goodness I thought, "originated..." but trying to keep a low profile I answered:
Don't know, don't know, he aped me as usual. Can't you show a little less idiocy and give an educated answer? What do you have all this brain for? eh?! eh!?
I gave up, it is impossible to ignore a thorn in your eye!
Look, I said, these words were used in tales for children, as in nursery rhymes and fairy tales from Mother Goose's!
Bah, Mother Goose was just a Gander! (sic), meaning nonsense, I guess, even if I do not know what slang he was using.
Not a Gander, maybe his hubby was a gander! I tried to jump over the pun but...
Who you mean?!! (he forgets grammar when in anger), I never heard of Father Gander!
I had to reckon he was right, 'neither I has ever heard of Father Gander', I could not explain him the crusade of Doug Larche trying to make nursery rhymes to be an Equal Rights Rhymes for both sexes. Father Gander Nursery Rhymes was a book way out of the scope of Elf's current subject.
Ok, ok, I granted, just let's forget all about this. Yes?
Forget? forget?, it is people like you that forgetting everything are guilty of the major evils in the world! Elf was furious!
I was stunned, major evils?
But what are you talking about?, Himmeldonnerwetter! - when I start to get angry my German cassette pushes out some of those neverending words - major evils?! we were talking about Mother Goose here, not major evils!
You were talking about Mother Goose, I am not. I am concerned with all that things that happened once upon a time and not now! He countered!
Gosh! I said, where is my mind-hammer!!
Elf put his best scornful face and giving me the cold shoulder lost himself into the archive.
I knew he was fleeing and scared enough about my mind-hammer, he does not know what it is (neither I do) anyway it sound impressive enough to make him run away, but he always makes his departures look like he has defeated me!
The music is a large fragment of "Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini" by Sergei Rachmaninov, performed by Stephen Hough.
© 2013 Od Liam.